Spectator Sport: Teenage Treasures
The musty air filled my nostrils and I could smell old
books, rotten food, and rust. The medium sized room was stuffed with cardboard cartons,
ancient smelly books, a rusty red bicycle with blue strings attached to the
handles, and a huge slimy pizza splattered all over the wooden floor. This place seriously needs a renovation! I proceeded to the next carton and under the aegis of plastic sheets I discovered neat stacks of teen magazines. The
once glossy cover has now faded into pale colors. As I opened a magazine, a
few pages slipped and fell down. The remaining pages had turned yellow and
brittle. Every page was scribbled on thickly with a blue pen which marked the
thin, skinny models and their short romantic stories. Adding to that were flippant cartoons criticizing rich celebrities in a sarcastic manner. I turned over to the next
carton and found myself dozens of seashells. I extricated each shell from the tangle of webs. Each one was specifically labeled with
stickers and the shells were exquisitely beautiful. Most of the shells were of a
white, colorless texture with spots of orange and red in them. Some were speckled
with black and grey, others were corn yellow almost fading into white, and a
few even had splashes of lavender blue and purple. As I glanced at the other
cartons, I noticed that there was an antique wooden box far away from the rest.
A light brown veil of dust covered it completely. I cleaned the dust, which
revealed exotic carvings done on the box with the finest detail, covering every
inch with wood carving skill. I was stunned at its simple beauty. To my dismay,
the box was locked by a big steel lock demanding a password. I searched
frantically around the room for any sign of a clue, but found none. Something
in the carvings caught my eye, and I noticed three tiny letters scrawled across
the border. I put in those random numbers and it actually worked! Holding my
breath, I opened the heavy lid as the hinges creaked noisily screaming for
attention. Hoping to see precious jewels, beautiful antiques or even hidden
secrets I smiled in anticipation. It quickly changed to a disappointed frown as
I found two packs of colorful, childish and wrinkled pokemon cards!
Wonderful writing, Nandita! I love how you described the things you saw in that "treasury" place, and how I could feel and actually picture the place in mind. I just literally awaken my 5 sensory after reading this, there are no grammatical errors anywhere, and once again, wow, this is awesome. Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Regina!! I am glad you liked it :)
DeleteWow!! I knew your English and writing skills were good, but this really impressed me so much. The mood of this writing was quite mysterious to me (dunno why^^ ) and you used so many good adjectives. But there was a one question I had while reading this. It was that I'm not sure if I missed it out, but I think I didn't see exactly where this place was. It sounds like it is near the beach because you talk about seashells a lot, but you also mentioned it is a room. I hope you have mentioned more specifically about what kind of room or why you were in that room. Anyways, I enjoyed a lot reading, and come comment on mine too (even though I know that yours is MUCH better than mine.. Dont make me be embarrassed!!) Love ya~!!
ReplyDeletesarashin12.blogspot.com
hahaha, thank you :) True, i will try to make it more clear...i saw this really late, so I will get around to it later :)
DeleteReading this amazing "Teenage Treasures" showed me that you are a very good writer.Because by reading each line I could imagine out the whole room and how each things in the room really looked like. So by reading this I just want say out that this was a great job that you did and hope you would keep this kind of writing always to the future that lies ahead.
ReplyDeleteEkachai Narula
Thank you for your comment, and I will try to improve myself as I go along :)
DeleteOmggg!! As expected! Your writings is so awesomeee!! The words aren't hard to understand. I enjoy reading it. It feels like I'm in the room with you and seeing all those valuable treasures! Hahahhaa. It should be fun!
ReplyDeleteIt would be nice if I could see all the treasures with you ;) your writing is very descriptive. Keep up! I'm looking forward to the next one :)))
hahaha, i will show you the treasures I have some other time :P
Deletewow, when i read this i was waiting for the end, i knew you'd mention what you were talking about in the end and i got excited to see what u found. You found pokemon cards :D that's really interesting :) how old were you when this happened?? 9 years? Anyways, you made one grammar error in the sentence 'The remaining pages have turned yellow and brittle.' See your mistake?? So, continue writing more interesting exciting things :)
ReplyDeleteActually, this a more poetic form so nothing like this actually happened....tee hee :D I used actually twice, anyways, I will keep the grammatical mistake in mind :)
DeleteNice! I like how descriptive it is, and I could really imagine what you're describing! However, I still have doubts on where you actually are; an attic? Brilliantly written though!
ReplyDeleteKeep it up!!
Yes, my dear friend, you have entered my attic. Enjoy your stay! It's awkward answering your coment while you are right beside me, but it works fine. So yea, THANK YOU!! :) Tee hee :D
DeleteLol! I actually enjoyed it! It's epic. It was mysterious at first, but it turned out to be one hilarious ending. I love it. It's awesome. Good job gurl!!!!!! hehe! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Sweety :) I will read yours too!! :)
DeleteI really like your essay. Your choice of words is great and it is so vivid and descriptive. In the first part, you I could almost smell or even picture myself in the picture. You really did a good job. I know many people will enjoy your writing. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteSirapob Monkolpiyathana period 8
Thank you Sirapob :) I will read yours soon :)
DeleteHey..OH MY GOSH that was just hilarious, I laughed so much at the end! It liked the concept of your essay and the way every single word is utilized properly and loved your writing. The suspense kept my mouth open all this time when i was reading haha, Keep writing, you can be a great writer one day :P Good Job! (Y)
ReplyDelete-Gurpreet Sachdev-
Thank you Gurpz!!! :) Don't keep your mouth open for too long, you never know what can get in there :P
DeleteTHIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! I could picture out exactly how the story went by. I got abit confused here and there. but overall, it was amazing. I liked how you explained every scene into details. And your usage of words was just awesome. I really really loved it. Continue to write nice stories.. you've always been a great writer (Y)
ReplyDelete-Ishita Akther
Thank you Ishi!!! :) You are a great writer yourself, I will read yours soon :)
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