I realized that taking a gap year in a South Asian household is a matter of life and death. Fortunately, I've survived but I am already regretting this. These are the 5 things a South Asian kid hears when she/he takes a gap year between school and college.
1. What is going to happen to you?
That's the most important and crucial question that parents keep asking rhetorically to the air, walls and the universe, "Omg, what will happen to this child? No education, gap year, what rich-kid nonsense?". It's almost as if we have decided to waste one year on partying, drinking or shopping. Oh c'mon, I'm retaking my SATs, trying to search for an internship and also filling up college applications - there's no time for that. More importantly, I've taken the gap TO DECIDE what is going to happen to me. Simply asking and sighing in frustration will get me nowhere - definitely not to "Havard".
2. What are you doing all day?
Parents keep bugging me on several levels of this question: now, day, year. "What are you doing now? Studying or no? Good. Study"..."What are you doing today? Studying or no? Good. Study"..."What are you going to do this year? Stay at home and do nothing productive? Studying right? Good." Like hold up a second, I cannot study the entire year long. I also need some time to get my sheez together and find a job, do something productive. Can't ask me that everyday expecting the same answer.
3. What is this gap year nonsense? We don't have the time or money for this.
It's a myth that in order to take a gap year, one must be super rich. Of course, I'll be "behind a year" in that sense from earning the degree and getting a job but I'll also be working during the gap year itself. Additionally, since I'm 18 and South Asian, I'm living with my parents. There is no such extensive cost. Whatever money was needed for the school is now being 1/100 used for my daily expenses. I don't even shop. What are they even afraid of? That I'll eat up everything in the house? Actually, that's possible. Hmm..
4. This is your last year. You can't waste this. After this, no more chance.
I keep hearing this line repeatedly and honestly, I'm so done with this sheez. Like, yes I do know it's my last chance but burning the burden on my shoulders won't make me stand taller. It will just cause me to feel even worse for myself. I want to do my best with happiness, not fear and worry.
5. We understand you but we want you to do your best.
As much as I adore my parents and I know they want the best for me, the medium they choose to express it is horrible. I never understood how scolding shows love and harsh words show care. It shows that I affect you - sure - but it also shows that I deserve no sympathy in your eyes. It shows that I don't deserve respect from you. That's very confusing to me. As kids, we always want to make our parents proud but the world will be more amazing if the parents also strive to make their kids confident about themselves.
I'm done with my rant.
