Gap Year Problems

I realized that taking a gap year in a South Asian household is a matter of life and death. Fortunately, I've survived but I am already regretting this. These are the 5 things a South Asian kid hears when she/he takes a gap year between school and college.

1. What is going to happen to you?
That's the most important and crucial question that parents keep asking rhetorically to the air, walls and the universe, "Omg, what will happen to this child? No education, gap year, what rich-kid nonsense?". It's almost as if we have decided to waste one year on partying, drinking or shopping. Oh c'mon, I'm retaking my SATs, trying to search for an internship and also filling up college applications - there's no time for that. More importantly, I've taken the gap TO DECIDE what is going to happen to me. Simply asking and sighing in frustration will get me nowhere - definitely not to "Havard".

2. What are you doing all day?
Parents keep bugging me on several levels of this question: now, day, year. "What are you doing now? Studying or no? Good. Study"..."What are you doing today? Studying or no? Good. Study"..."What are you going to do this year? Stay at home and do nothing productive? Studying right? Good." Like hold up a second, I cannot study the entire year long. I also need some time to get my sheez together and find a job, do something productive. Can't ask me that everyday expecting the same answer.

3. What is this gap year nonsense? We don't have the time or money for this.
It's a myth that in order to take a gap year, one must be super rich. Of course, I'll be "behind a year" in that sense from earning the degree and getting a job but I'll also be working during the gap year itself. Additionally, since I'm 18 and South Asian, I'm living with my parents. There is no such extensive cost. Whatever money was needed for the school is now being 1/100 used for my daily expenses. I don't even shop. What are they even afraid of? That I'll eat up everything in the house? Actually, that's possible. Hmm..

4. This is your last year. You can't waste this. After this, no more chance.
 I keep hearing this line repeatedly and honestly, I'm so done with this sheez. Like, yes I do know it's my last chance but burning the burden on my shoulders won't make me stand taller. It will just cause me to feel even worse for myself. I want to do my best with happiness, not fear and worry.

 5. We understand you but we want you to do your best.
As much as I adore my parents and I know they want the best for me, the medium they choose to express it is horrible. I never understood how scolding shows love and harsh words show care. It shows that I affect you - sure - but it also shows that I deserve no sympathy in your eyes. It shows that I don't deserve respect from you. That's very confusing to me. As kids, we always want to make our parents proud but the world will be more amazing if the parents also strive to make their kids confident about themselves.

I'm done with my rant. 

Back with bubbling thoughts

HELLOOOOO

After a long time, I felt like writing again. Weirdly, even though I feel like writing, I am at a loss for words. So much to say, to express, to convey yet nothing at the same time. Ignoring my fluctuating mood, let me just be random and crazy as usual. New Year has already arrived and the posts keep rolling in my news feed. I do not what it is about New Year but it makes me slightly obnoxious if that's the correct term. It feels all jittery and anxious. I recall and invite a parade of memories to flood into my head - some which fill me utter joy, some which leave me incomplete and some that make me breathless. Nonetheless, in very simple words 2013 for me SUCKED. BIG TIME. Now, don't get me wrong. Yes, I am slightly pessimistic and cynical and skeptical blah blah blah but I do appreciate beautiful memories - if they are beautiful. 2012, for example, was one of the best years of my life, for several reasons, even though it ended on a bitter note. Yet, 2013 came in like a storm and left me in a hurricane. I am not sure where to begin and where to end, what to carry forward and what to leave behind, whom to love and whom to dislike...all of it was confusing. However, I am looking forward to 2014 and hopefully, this year will give me some of the best moments of my life. Till then, let me just stay home and procrastinate on my English essays. It's ironic how I was bursting with happiness to blog again, and the next moment I stare at the my essay questions and groan. Life is mystical. Anyways, that's all I had to say...to all of my invisible, nonexistent readers. 

31/12/13

Nandita 

Response for Hamlet

Response Journal for Act 1, Scene 1 to Act 1, Scene 5

1. I feel insanely curious and excited. I know that a lot of things are coming ahead which would change the whole course of the story and I can't wait to read them. Shakespeare knows how to put in the correct clues and words to keep everything mysterious enough that you crazily want to know of the proceeding acts.

I believe the reason for so much suspense are the context clues put between the lines that Shakespeare wrote. The play starts on a very morbid, depressing and vague manner as if it's taunting me that I won't be able to find out its secrets and I love that about Hamlet.

2. a) I have felt very familiar to Hamlet about his reaction to his mother's marriage. Being in his position, I can see myself doing the exact same. After all, how is possible to be happy and prepare for the marriage of your mother when your father has died only a few months ago?! It shows me lack of morality in my mother, and that is very difficult and saddening to see. I am sure I would have been as frustrated, depressed, and angry as Hamlet was.

   b) When Polonius tells Ophelia to be away from Hamlet, somewhere down the line it reminds me of something in my life. It isn't exactly the same thing as the story line but I somehow understand Ophelia in that stage and I would have done exactly the same - obeyed my dad.

   c) I can relate to how Hamlet reacted when he saw the ghost, after all it must have been a nerve wracking experience. I loved the courage he portrayed since it's something I don't think I would have, but his questions, his attitude, and his perspectives are what I agree with.

3. I think Shakespeare has a very distinct style of writing that separates him from every author we have seen. Shakespeare is someone who expects the reader or the audience to be intelligent, analytic and philosophical. He shows the different hidden meanings behind the English language. I love that about his language. Adding to that, would be his amazing metaphors and examples. I almost never understand his language completely, yet I can totally feel what he wants to say. That's magical.

4. I have slight problems understanding the language since it's Old English and all the thy, thou, thee confuses me. Some of his metaphors are very hard to understand and actually draw conclusions from. That's why, as I said before, he expects a very intelligent audience to read his work. I would have three questions to ask: 

a) Why is that Hamlet takes the oath from the officers? 
b) Was Hamlet actually hallucinating the ghost, or did he actually see it? 
c) Is he truly mad or does he only claim to be so? 

Spectator Sport: Teenage Treasures

Faded Magazine

The musty air filled my nostrils and I could smell old books, rotten food, and rust. The medium sized room was stuffed with cardboard cartons, ancient smelly books, a rusty red bicycle with blue strings attached to the handles, and a huge slimy pizza splattered all over the wooden floor. This place seriously needs a renovation! I proceeded to the next carton and under the aegis of plastic sheets I discovered neat stacks of teen magazines. The once glossy cover has now faded into pale colors. As I opened a magazine, a few pages slipped and fell down. The remaining pages had turned yellow and brittle. Every page was scribbled on thickly with a blue pen which marked the thin, skinny models and their short romantic stories. Adding to that were flippant cartoons criticizing rich celebrities in a sarcastic manner. I turned over to the next carton and found myself dozens of seashells. I extricated each shell from the tangle of webs. Each one was specifically labeled with stickers and the shells were exquisitely beautiful. Most of the shells were of a white, colorless texture with spots of orange and red in them. Some were speckled with black and grey, others were corn yellow almost fading into white, and a few even had splashes of lavender blue and purple. As I glanced at the other cartons, I noticed that there was an antique wooden box far away from the rest. A light brown veil of dust covered it completely. I cleaned the dust, which revealed exotic carvings done on the box with the finest detail, covering every inch with wood carving skill. I was stunned at its simple beauty. To my dismay, the box was locked by a big steel lock demanding a password. I searched frantically around the room for any sign of a clue, but found none. Something in the carvings caught my eye, and I noticed three tiny letters scrawled across the border. I put in those random numbers and it actually worked! Holding my breath, I opened the heavy lid as the hinges creaked noisily screaming for attention. Hoping to see precious jewels, beautiful antiques or even hidden secrets I smiled in anticipation. It quickly changed to a disappointed frown as I found two packs of colorful, childish and wrinkled pokemon cards!

Pokemon Cards

Lightening Bolt!

Hello there!

I've got something interesting today.  I just finished reading "Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian" and this lightening bolt hit me (Zeus influence) and I made up this parody to the book. Yes, yes I know that being fifteen years old, I should have read this book long back but frankly, it never excited me. I was never a Greek mythology freak unlike my friend here, Saranya. You can check out her blog at www.foreversaranya.blogspot.com. I can assure you though, that after reading the series I completely change my mind. It's not the greatest thing ever on this planet but it has speed, excitement, humor and also a drop of romance. The best thing in all of it, is the way Rick Riordan manages to balance between history lessons and adventure. I was the most uninterested human being in this whole planet about mythology, but after this book I crave for more information regarding it. Percy Jackson changes your concept of boring to interesting. That, to me, is the winner in all.

This is just a small piece that came into my head on one random moment. I have no intention of hurting any sentiments or creating any conflicts about it. So, leaving you to judge my work, here it is: 

PRESENTING TO YOU: " PERCY JACKSON AND THE SLEEPING THIEF"

I gave a silent scream. Two red glowing eyes were staring at me. Deep within me, i knew i was going to be safe. But that didn't exactly comfort me when I caught the sight of razor sharp claws. They were silver and shiny. 

My focus shifted to a faint light faraway. It ran along a thin line giving me the hope to escape from this horrendous place. On the other hand, the light was at such great a distance, I felt like I will never be able to reach it. I lunged towards the ray of hop, feeling that I could grab it, but instead crashed and hit my head against something hard. I couldn't even see anything, because everything was pitch black.

"Percy?"

Is that mom? 

"Percy?! Are you there?"

It is my mom! I wonder how she knew where I was. My instincts kicked in and I shouted, "Mom! I'm here!"

I heard shuffling of slippers and footsteps approaching near, but I still had no idea of the location of those noises. Somewhere, a lock was turned and a click followed it. I took all my energy and focused on the light, thinking that maybe this will help me in reaching it. The light grew brighter and brighter until it burned my eyes. I had no choice but to cover my face with my hands. Suddenly, arms grabbed me and pulled me out. I was being hugged tightly by someone. 

I glanced back and found myself looking at a closet. I was stuck in a closet! Things got clearer when I realized that those red, glowing eyes were actually beady buttons on my mom's blouse, the shiny claws were actually my belts, and the faint light was the teeny space between both the closet doors.

I hugged my mom back. It felt good, to be back at home...with her.

Guess what? I'm Percy Jackson, 12 years old, obese and here's the catch: I sleepwalk.

How is it?! Any good? I have no idea...it was just a random thought in my brain. I will be back later with more news, writing, and a more formal passage. Just kidding! So, I'm going to sign out for now. Have a wonderful day! 

- Nandita - 

School is being a headache :(

It has been a long time that I haven't posted anything on this blog. Actually, this week has been one of the busiest weeks of my life. I am coping up with subjects like algebra 2 and physics, which - believe me - are some of the most time consuming subjects I have ever dealt with. Today, in our English 2 class we read the story, Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut. 

Even though it was a black comedy, satirical and at times brutal, I found the story to be quite impressive. Stories as such have hidden amounts of messages behind it. We discussed about it in class but there might be other interpretations of it too. Some of us seemed to base the story on technology, others based it on society norms, and the rest to life. This made me think that this difference in interpretations of a simple story might be the basic idea of the story. That is, our differences in thinking, modeling, deciding, etc. is causing the world to be a more exciting place. If we don't have any variation, there will be no change and remaining stagnant is one of the worst things possible to happen to earth.

At the end of the class, a few lines came to my mind which I even shared with some of my friends. Those words are, "The greatest problem on earth today isn't injustice or unequal rights, in fact I believe it is the fact that those who are deserving, are neglected and those who are given the authority and power, don't deserve it." 

I'm going to end my blog post on that note. I know I haven't been able to write much and I am not updating regularly but school is being a headache. As soon as I get some aspirins, get rid of the headaches, I will be back with action, fire and zeal to write. Till then, bear with me....and keep reading :)

- Nandita -

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog!

I want to welcome you to my blog. I've decided to release my emotions through this blog and express what I truly feel. Primarily, this is for the English 2 Class, but I plan to make this something that will be very close to me for long. Enjoy your visits to my blog. Subscribe if you feel it's worth it. Most importantly, feel free to comment about anything :) Keep reading!!! :)

~ Nandita Banik~